Blue Wind
by WhoAteMyEnchilada
Summary: Draco finds Harry in the astronomy tower contemplating his life so far. Trigger Warning.


Harry Potter was not having a good day. Or week… Or year or even life for that matter. Because Harry Potter is the Boy Who Lived. Harry Potter had to be strong and Harry Potter _doesn't_ do sadness. Or at least he tries not to. He often wondered why it was him who had to end the war. Why him? Why not some other kid with a strange scar? Someone who was stronger.

So tonight was one of those nights. He was sitting against the bricked wall of the astronomy tower with his back pressed against the chilled stone that made up the wall and his neck exposed to the chill in the air. And Harry thought. He thought about a lot of things… Like wanting to be loved. He had love from Ron and Hermione and even Luna and Neville and more recently Draco, but that wasn't the way a father loved a child. Harry thought about the Dursleys. He wished he could be a little butterfly, just flying. No feelings inside.

The sound of footsteps made Harry's thoughts halt. Draco's platinum hair came into view.

"Thought I would find you up here," He said dropping himself down to sit next to Harry. Harry just hummed in response hoping that Draco would leave him to his thoughts. Draco stared at the silent boy next to him as Harry was looking into the stars.

"What's wrong?" Draco finally asked.

"Nothin'," Harry answered not bothering to actually look at Draco when he responded.

"You're clearly upset," Draco said softly and Harry met his gaze. He looked like a deer in the headlights for a moment before his eyes dulled.

"I'm not. I don't do sadness," He answered pulling the blanket that he carried with him tighter around his shoulders. Draco furrowed his brow. Everyone gets sad, Draco thought. Especially Harry who had just lost his godfather. Come to think of it. Harry hadn't talked about his loss as of late which worried Draco. Was he keeping it all inside? That's not healthy...

"What?" He asked incredulously.

"Don't do sadness, Don't want any part of it," Harry said. Draco turned Harry to face him by grabbing his shoulders and forcing him to look at him.

"Harry, everyone gets sad,"

"Not Harry Potter,"

"Then you aren't Harry Potter, you're just Harry. You don't have to be Harry Potter with me, just be Harry. And Harry _can_ do sadness," Draco responded hands still holding Harry's shoulders. Draco was pretty sure he knew the problem now. Harry thought he had to always be strong and never show weakness because he was a public figure. He would show him otherwise.

"Actually… I better go," Harry said and started to get up. Draco stood up as well.

"Walk as far as the common room with me," Draco said. He knew something was up with Harry and there is absolutely no way that he was going to let him be alone, not when the wind was so cold blowing through the thick corn and the bales of hay. And that cold wind was creeping up on Harry. It will creep up and haunt you. Whistling it's got you, through the heartache, through the sorrow... Winter wind sings and it cries.

"I wish I could," Harry looked at his feet.

"Then why don't you?"

"Transfiguration practice, defence homework and a paper on the polyjuice potion," Harry said but he didn't move. He just stood.

"Harry, I don't think that the professors would-" He was cut off.

"Maybe, I should be some kind of laundry 'll hang their things on me and I'll swing 'em dry,"

"You're not making sense," Draco whispered.

"I'm tired, Draco," Harry said allowing his head to fall onto the shoulder of his friend.

"I know, but trust me, things will get better," Draco said trying to lead Harry to a warmer place.

"It feels like everyday is winter and it's just getting colder…" Harry said.

"Spring and summer is just around the corner," Draco said.

"I don't know…" Harry trailed off.

"I think we should go see my godfather," Draco said and Harry snapped his head off of Draco's shoulder.

"What!? No! H-H-He hates me!" Harry stuttered trying to push away from the other boy who held a strong grip on him.

"He can help you," Draco said tugging on Harry's arm. Harry yanked his arm out of Draco's hand. How could it have come to this? He was justing thinking and then within an hour he was being dragged to his mosted hated professor. It seemed everything moved too fast in Harry's life now. He felt as though he was being dragged behind it.

Draco placed a warm hand on Harry's shoulder once again only to have the boy flinch. Draco did not move his hand though. He kept it steadily clamped on his friend's shoulder.

"I think you need to talk to someone, Harry,"

"I don't! I'm just tired!" Harry said. He felt his body get warm and he knew that pretty soon everything would be too much for him to handle. His chest was getting tighter and his eyes ached in his skull.

"Tired like sleepy, or tired in another sense?" Draco asked and he could tell that Harry was near his breaking point.

"It truly is daunting how that word can mean so many things…" Harry said. His voice sounded thick as if he had spoken through cotton.

"Harry? Are you-" Harry knew what the end of that sentence was going to imply so he interrupted.

"I'm not saying I wouldn't- Wouldn't want to not- Would ever not want to-" Harry couldn't bring himself to say the word 'live'.

"I know," Draco said and again pulled on the sleeve of Harry's shirt who was too tired to refuse this time. Both meanings of the word.

Draco dragged his friend all the way down to the dungeons. Harry followed lethargically behind him only following because of the strong grip that draco held on his wrist. He still felt overwhelmed and he knew that when he felt this way, his facade will fall soon after.

 **I didn't know if anyone would catch on but my fics tend to put broadway songs into new context. I actually plan on doing some more chapters for this. I usually only write one shots but I feel like the show that I'm using for this fic has more useful songs that I can use. For this chapter I used Don't Do Sadness/Blue Wind from Spring Awakening. Toward the end I used some lyrics from Touch Me from Spring Awakening which is the song my next chapter will be loosely based off of. I think. If you know the show, don't worry, there will be no major character death. If I wanted to write about Moritz, I would have written in the Spring Awakening section for fics.**

 **Hannah**


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